May 21st 2010 By G Xavier Robillard

Whiten Your Teeth Without a Trip to the Dentist

Beaming White Forever White Teeth Whitening Headset and KitWe know that our teeth are starting to look more ebony than ivory, but we've resisted our dentist's plea to whiten them. Too expensive -- plus, trips to his office are scary.

Luckily, there's another option: the home whitening kit. The Forever White Teeth Whitening Headset and Kit from Beaming White claims to be the quickest method of shining our chompers (aside from gargling bleach, which we don't recommend).

Beaming White includes a peroxide gel plus that cool LED headset that activates the gel to speed up the whitening process.

We aren't sure how much this thing retails for, but you cannot put a price on having an awesome blue, glowing maw.

May 21st 2010 By Asylum Staff

Dating Red Flag of the Week -- The Beady-Eyed Killah

Here's this week's most outrageous relationship red flag story from the editors of The Little Black Blog of Big Red Flags.

The Story: "I'd been seeing a girl for six months. Her apartment lease ran out and she couldn't find a place right away, so I said she could stay with me until she got a new apartment.

I came back from work one day to find that she had thrown out all pictures of my best female friend. When I asked her why she'd done that, she said she couldn't stand her "beady eyes" staring at her.

I'm not sure if she was jealous or just psychotic. The latter was proved several times later in the relationship, which died out shortly thereafter."

Got a red flag story? Submit it by visiting The Little Black Blog of Big Red Flags or emailing

May 21st 2010 By Asylum Staff

Masterclash Nominates the Greatest Bad TV Stars of All Time

This week Masterclash returns with a second round of discussion about Bad TV. This segment looks to set forth a canon of Bad TV heavyweights, from Dustin Diamond to Antonio Sabato Jr. Once again, comedian, actor and pop culture commentator Baron Vaughn will be weighing in, as well as the curator of the Found Footage Festival, Nick Prueher.

Bad TV 2 Masterclash

Check back for Part 3 next Friday at 3:30 p.m., and click here to subscribe to the Masterclash on iTunes.

May 21st 2010 By Ian Fortey

What Kindle's Most Highlighted Passages Say About Humanity

Scurzuzu, Flickr
Recently the Internet and Amazon's handy little tool for enjoying e-books, the Kindle, gave us a whole new way to pick through the general public's private thoughts ... by browsing through the popular highlights by Kindle users.

The 10 most highlighted passages come from three separate books, which might make you assume those are three of the most awesome books ever.

If you agree that A) a book explaining how successful people got successful, B) a "Da Vinci Code" sequel with a character that The New York Times compared to Jar Jar Binks, and C) a book about living in a shack with God are awesome, then fire up your Kindle and join the highlight brigade.

For the rest of us, let's see if this list helps us figure out what's wrong with our civilization.

May 21st 2010 By Brett Smiley

Man Asks the Internet for Creative Ways to Defile His Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress

Therapy has many forms, and for the recently divorced Kevin Cotter, it is finding 101 different uses for his ex-wife's wedding dress. Some of them are practical, others just ridiculous, but they're certainly all different.

Cotter tells Asylum that his wife of 12 years left him at the end of last year -- taking everything but her wedding dress when she moved out of their home.

"I just think that she lost that loving feeling," he says. "We grew apart, but I really don't know why or how it happened. I'm not angry at her and I don't resent her. This isn't easy for either of us."

A few months after the split, Cotter began photographing the dress in various states of incorrect usage and launched the blog My Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress. He asked readers to make suggestions, and now the list has grown to 50 creative uses for the dress.

May 21st 2010 By Caitlin

Tattoo Regrets -- True Love at Its Best

    Readers share their true stories of terrible tattoos.

    My boyfriend and I had been together for a whole six months.

    Yes, I know that sounds like nothing to you, but to me that was a lifetime. So after we had already said our premature "I love you"s and talked marriage, we had decided we would be together forever.

    To seal that naïve bond, my boyfriend -- we'll call him Jake -- suggested we seal our everlasting love with tattoos. And, of course, I blissfully agreed.

    May 21st 2010 By Robert Mancini

    Stone Pale Ale -- Coming Soon to a Bar Near You

    Our fourth of 12 candidates for America's Next Top Beer ...

    Stone Pale Ale
    Stone Brewing Co. -- San Diego

    A distinctly British ale by way of San Diego, Stone Pale Ale is one of the main reasons Stone Brewing Co. has seen its production explode from 400 barrels in 1996 to 98,500 barrels last year. In fact, given the company's growth, it may be unfair to include the Stone folks in the America's Next Top Beer debate -- they may have already arrived.

    Their finely crafted brews are available in 33 states, and they now have their sights set on Europe. "They have that necessary combination of quality products, big investment capital and marketing, to become a true national success story," the Beer Sommelier, Matt Simpson, says.

    But you can't deny the true artisanal nature of their Pale Ale, a golden, creamy, delicate drink that goes down smooth but packs enough nuanced flavor to appeal to die-hard hopheads. No wonder Beer Advocate put the Stone Brewing Co. at the top of their list of All-Time Top Brewers.

    The final word:

    Joe Sixpack: "Easy-drinking"
    The Beer Sommelier: "Crisp"
    Jay Jankowski: "Quenching"
    Marty Wombacher: "Delicious"

    To see a roundup of all the nominated beers, and to get more information on our Microbrewed Beer of the Month giveaway, check out our America's Next Top Beer hub.

    May 21st 2010 By Robert Mancini

    Will Alpha King Pale Ale Conquer the Competition?

    Our third of 12 candidates for America's Next Top Beer ...

    Alpha King
    Three Floyds
    Brewery -- Munster, Ind.

    Hail to the king, baby. Rich, bold and smooth, this amber-colored, caramel-scented brew lives up to its name and is one of the main reasons Three Floyds is carving out a spot for itself at the front of the craft-brew pack.

    "A small-scale brewery with the heart of a brewpub, Three Floyds makes an incredibly wide variety of styles, but all done very well," the Beer Sommelier tells us. "Well known for their big, aromatic, flavorful and full-bodied beers, this is one of the country's small breweries that earns its stripes, year after year."

    Ask a hophead what their go-to beer is, and there's a decent chance they'll say Alpha King ... though they might want to keep that to themselves. As Jay Jankowski, manager of Chicago beer temple the Map Room, says, "I don't think they want to get too big, but what they've done so far is pretty incredible."

    The final word:

    The Beer Sommelier: "Bold"
    Joe Sixpack: "Over the top"
    Jay Jankowski: "Quintessential"

    To see a roundup of all the nominated beers, and to get more information on our Microbrewed Beer of the Month giveaway, check out our America's Next Top Beer hub.

    May 21st 2010 By Wendy Rose Gould

    Fun Ways to Measure the Size of the BP Gulf Oil Spill

    Oil Spill
    Brendan McGinley,
    It's estimated that at least 5 million gallons of oil (and now looking like probably much, much more) will have gushed into the Gulf of Mexico as a result of the explosion that occurred April 20 at the Deepwater Horizon station. Naturally, this epic amount of oil spillage piqued our curiosity, leading us to ask this question: Exactly how much is 5 million gallons of oil?

    Continue reading to learn what 5 million gallons of oil could have been used for.

    May 21st 2010 By Tom Cullen

    How Not to Move a 100-Year-Old Statue

    In Belgium, a group of construction and haulage experts are moving a 100-year-old statue for renovation. A difficult job, sure, but hey, these guys are pros.

    Alas, it was not to be, as this footage that has hit YouTube with fervor shows.

    The bungling Belgian crew manages to drop the monument square on its head as they hoist it off its base, lopping his stony head clean off his shoulders.

    If any readers can shed a little light on what the statue is we'd be much obliged.

    Altogether now: "Fail!"